Interviewing Walkers: Swamp Walker from AMC’s The Walking Dead: Season 2

The following is a transcript taken from a recorded interview former Revenant Media correspondent conducted with the Swamp Walker from AMC’s The Walking Dead. Their name has been withheld until family can be notified.

swamp walker

Guys, I’m not so sure about this.

*Radio Speaker* You’ll be OK. Just don’t look nervous.

Don’t look nervous?! Do you remember what happened to ******?!

*Radio Speaker* Keep you voice down. You’ll only agitate him.

I don’t wanna do this anymore.

*Clicks of door latching*

*Radio Speaker* No turning back now. Just ask the questions.

And you’ll let me out as soon as we’re done?

*Radio speaker* Yes.

Promise?

*Radio Speaker* Promise.

Ok ….. *deep sigh* Hello fellow Deadheads. My name is ******* and I’m here with the Swamp Walker from the season 2 episode of The Walking Dead titled Better Angels

*Sounds of feet shuffling*

Marh.

And hello to you as well.  Would you like to have a seat?

Mrh. Hrh nrh.

Ok. If pacing feels better for you. You had a very exciting episode in season 2.

Mrh.

And being featured in one of 20 Eyes Co’s limited edition prints as the Beard Zombie.

Marrgghh. Raagghh hrh.

Yeah, and your scene with Carl in the swamp was very thrilling.

Mrh.

Wait? Are you serious?

Arrh grrh arh grrng rn hrh rrh.

So, you were only out there looking for Carl?

Mrh.

Lori sent you to babysit?

Mrh.

Well yeah, Carl does have a problem staying in the house. You’d think his parents would watch him better.

Arrh hrrrh an grrh arh.

It was when you tried to convince him to go back to the house, that’s when he started throwing rocks at you?

Mrh.

I know he wasn’t expecting to see you there but still, how rude of him. You were only trying to look out for his best interest.

Hrh nrh Mrh.

I bet you were scared when Carl pointed Daryl’s gun at you.

Mrh.

*laughs* I’m sorry. I don’t mean to chuckle but you have to admit that the look on Carl’s face was priceless when you grabbed him and tried to drag him back to the house.

Mrh.

I’m sure next time Carl will listen when Lori tells him to guard the couch cushians.

Rrh hra brrh

But what about Dale?

Mrh Hrh nrh.

What do you mean it was an accident?

*A low and unsteady moan.*

Mrh.

You only wanted a hug?

Mrh.

But why did you feel badly for Dale?

Mrh. Rrh hra brrh.

You’re right. Dale did have the best of intentions for not wanting the group to kill Randall.

Arrh hrrrh an grrh arh grrng rn hrh rrh.

You want to hug me?

Mrh.

I guess that’s ok.

*sounds of feet shuffling*

Mrh.

There, there. It’ll be ok. We don’t blame you ….

MWAURH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*sounds of chewing and crunching*

*Sound of radio box clicking back on*

Dammit! Oh well. Maybe next time it should be a phone interview.

*Tape clicks off*